Monday, March 11, 2013

My Family: Our First Date

I love my husband.  He is amazing.  That being said, it is a miracle that we are even together right now.  Truly – only by God’s grace.

When Phil asked me out, I had not been on a date in over four months (see my blog on “Dating & Waiting”).  I was excited, but also confused as to whether or not it was really a date.  After all, he asked me to go to a local HS basketball game (and it wasn’t like he and I were really even friends).  I was serving with the youth at our church and he was a Youth Minister, so I honestly thought that maybe it was some sort of ministry outreach or something… I just couldn’t be sure.

I wanted to look CUTE… so I packed a change of clothes and headed to work (the game was right after work).  My plan was to go shopping at lunch for some black boots to match my outfit.  I went to DSW and tried on a pair of super-cute Jessica Simpson boots when all of the sudden I felt a sharp prick in my heel.  A nail from the boots had lodged into my foot.  Ouch!  (FYI – the store was so gracious with me and really took care of me that day).  Well, I left without the boots and headed to the doctor for a tetanus shot!

That night, when Phil came to pick me up, he had a sweet gift bag – Band-Aids, gauze, and a “Get Well Soon” card.  I was so nervous on the way to the game that I couldn’t stop talking. I made EVERY rookie mistake you can make in a date.  During the car ride, I’d ask him questions about himself and his family and then interrupt him because all I could think about was what to say next.  He got lost on the way to the high school, and I made fun of him – to the extreme.  During the game, I over-shared.  I talked about my entire dating history, my ex-boyfriends, my prior eating disorder, my sin struggles – everything that can and should be off-limits first-date material was in my monologue (trust me – he barely had a chance to speak!). 

As Phil was dropping me off that night, I felt that strong, sickening sense of “this guy is never going to call me again…” And he didn’t.  For a week.  An entire five days. I waited, and he did not call.  (It turns out he had been praying hard about whether or not to see me again, but I didn’t know that at the time.)  I saw him at church that Saturday night and avoided him.  He called me that very night and asked why I had run out of church so quickly.  We ended up talking for about an hour on the phone and scheduled our next date.  It was equally as awkward, as was the third.  During Phil’s proposal (see “The Proposal” blog), he read me a journal he had been keeping since we first met.  In it, he discusses those first three dates and his questions/prayers to God of “is this really the girl I am supposed to date?” 

Here’s why I share my story with you… in the past, I would have tried to manipulate my dating situation – I would have figured out an excuse to reach out to Phil when he wasn’t calling, or would have done everything in my power to try and force my own agenda.  But this time, I didn’t.  After each of our dates, I went home and prayed that if this was the man I was supposed to date, that God would show me and show him.  And I knew that if Phil kept asking me out, it was entirely because he was led to do so by the Lord and not because of anything that I had done. In fact, in my own power, I had done everything wrong.  Fortunately, after our first three dates, everything went amazingly well.  We fell in love, and I am so thankful to God for my amazing husband! 

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